None of the living beings in the entire universe wants to experinece pain. We all are pleasure craving beings. All we want to experience is a broad spectrum of positive emotions, pleasure and sense stimulation.
With this kind of desire we start to live in the world of fantasies, where we imagine and seek only pleasure and favorable situations, ignoring all the pains and sufferings.
The reason why we crave for sense gratification (food, clothing, music, entertainment, love, sex, scents, drugs, etc), materialistic things (cars, money, legacy, identity, power, etc) and adventure (roller coasters, traveling, party, sky diving, etc) is that it gives us a stimulation of happiness or pleasure. Soon, as we keep on engaging ourselves in these instant simulations, we forget that they come at a cost!
We want all the above, we carve for it and we live for it! But here is the thing.. These gratifications do nothing but delude our mind, our brain starts to ignore the other part of the coin which is “pain and suffering” and this creates a unbreakable fantasy of the world and also a deep attachment to things, people and situations, which is not the truth.
“Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional”
We cannot avoid pain (all the negatives that happen to us) but we can avoid if we suffer because of it or not. Nothing is in our control and nothing is permanent, so why to keep our happiness and emotional well being on the table of gratification?
If you give the remote of your emotional mind to people, situations and things, then these 3 will make you a puppet, because they all are constantly changing.. So you cannot attached yourself to impermanent objects because they will make you experience pain.
Example: drugs will cause health issues even if it is giving pleasure right now.
People will change, they will love you a moment and hate you the next.
Situations are in your favor a moment and against you the next!!
So why do you give your emotional emotional remote to these 3? If you cling to these 3, they will cause you pain and when you won’t be able to take charge of your own emotions, these 3 will backfire and drive you nuts! Have you ever seen what happens to a person who is drug addict or a limerent or a person whose happiness is dependent upon the circumstances? They are miserable! They are emotional slaves!!
Remember, the pain (negative external events that happen to us) is inevitable, but suffering (our emotional response) is in our control and so, optional!
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